I want to puke. There is so much impurity into the system that I want to take them out, Right here and now. Don’t think that it is just something to do with my bowel movements. I want to puke from all possible exit points..mind, ear, eyes, mouth..even heart..well..not below that. Shall I provide you the reasons?
See, take something from the top, my mind, or ours mind, it has become so complex. It is not just thinking about roti, kapda and makaan, it is thinking about myriads of problems. And what is more troubling is, it is not thinking from a simplistic point of view, like some rishi-muni used to think. Take me for example, I see so many problems around, and when I put my mind into it, I don’t find any plausible solution for any problem, such a muddled mind it has become. It needs to cleanse itself.
Take ears for example, so much of noise, and unwanted noise. If you are living in a mega metro, there are not many serene places where your ears will not be drumming. And amidst so much of cacophony, one cannot think straight, and then how can one put his or her mind properly? Well, you can just say, provided you are reading properly, no fault of mind, etch!!!
Think of eyes next, terrible things happening all around, sad and struggling faces jostling with each other, for a piece of bread, for a penny of metal. One must remember what these modern yoga gurus suggest, if you close your eyes, and concentrate, you will be actually able to close your ears from outside world and will be able to see inwardly. But here is the problem, in these times even closing eyes will not be a recipe for calmness. You need to take those images out of your system which came through your eyes to disturb your mind.
The worst may be my mouth. Two ways of exit here, and how much needed both are! Whatever has been accumulated through our ears and eyes over the years into our minds, we speak accordingly, and then we say, hey, I am speaking my mind. But those are gibberish, and I want to take them out. Of course, what I have accumulated in my stomach is terrible, may not be the worst one, of course not the worst one, with such a dire poverty around. But even then, too much impurity there also, which gives me the physical sensation of puking, daily, at most hours.
Is that all? No. my heart is bleeding. It needs to cleanse itself mostly. It has stopped beating on musical tunes, and the drums which are guiding its beats are too treacherous to let my system remain in harmony. It is the one which is creating imbalances throughout, and is not at peace with itself. However, the question is how to cleanse it? Where can I take my heart out? Where is the ashiyana for all the doldrums it is in? Let me puke my heart here, in consequent writings, to start the cleansing process, which will right go till cleaning my mind and let it start working properly.
